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    A wonderful story and all the more... Monday, 21 May 2012

Captain vs. Steersman

Let us go back to the analogy of captain and steersman. Let the captain give the order „Spanish, go!“, the steersman is going to say „Paella“, stutters a couple of words and then remains silent. To switch the used language seems as difficult as to switch emotional responses. Both have in common to be determinated during our first years in life. It seems a try to change emotions is as difficult as to make a train turn right. You must have a turnout or your train is going to run off the rails with all its dangerous consequences. Seems we have to go back to where the switch is naturally located: our childhood.

In practice this means to have an eye on the basic beliefs, which cause and determine the current problems of our client (or ourselves). Take a closer look on the roots of the problem. Try to find out when the decision (unconsciously) for any belief of ours took place and you will find the switch, where it is easier to turn to a new direction. You or your client need one of the essences for children to face, go through and overcome his (or your) problems. We are stuck in a situation, repeat our pattern of fear or anger or whatever, block ourselves by sticking to old behaviour patterns that once were appropriate but now are long outdated. We have to find the origin and then not only give (or take) the essence that works on the problem but also the one, that can change the underlying childhood belief.


Pine

As someone who grew up in Germany I am very familiar with the concept of criticism and faultfinding. Many parents believe that criticising their children would inspire them to improve. As long as they fullfill all expectations, everything is ok, but nobody feels the need to appreciate and praise the kids. However once they fail, the silent parents start to speak. Once I had a client who although in her 30ies still tried to impress her father and get his appreciation. She was a sportswoman. She told me one day she came home, so happy to tell her parents about her new personal record, but all her father wanted to know was how her other tries went. When she admitted that not every try was that good, he „inspired“ her by mentioning how much better she could be if only she tried somewhat harder. Congratulations! Seems much to hard for him to simply say just one time „Well done! You are good! Go celebrate!“ or whatever. Even when she had success her parents found a way to criticize her. All who suffer from long lasting good mood and selfworth I can only recommend a session with that father. Anyway the inner belief „no matter how hard I try, I shall never be good enough“ is not supportive. It is an inner block worth to be sorted out. I recommend Pine for this purpose.

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