Shut up, inner voice!

Imagine this good friend of mine on her way back home after a busy weekend, when she gave a course. Thank God, it is done. It is late, sunday evening, and she drives her car home. How nice it would be to rest a while. She feels the tiredness in every single bone. It is raining. A slight continuous rain, constantly drumming on her car‘s roof. The street is empty, but still some pretty kilometres ahead. The coffee does not really work, she longs for taking her shoes off, sit down and let the tension leave her body.

She stares, trying to keep her eyes open. Her arms are becoming heavier and heavier, and so do her eyelids. She thinks about her cushion waiting at home for her. If only she could close her eyes for a moment, relax, dream a little. At this very moment she hears that tiny little voice inside saying „only one minute!“. Loud enough to shock and wake her up. Giving way her inner voice would have meant her death.

And that is what this is about: our inner voice and how overestimated it often is by spiritual people. Something like the holy cow. And to be honest: such things tickle troublemakers like me. What is all that about the inner voice? Is it really the source of joy and enlightenment, the voice of wisdom and higher self?

Remember what your inner voice may have told you all to often: „Only one more glass...“; „Nobody is right - besides me“, „I am guilty“, „all the others are guilty“, „everybody hates me“ - and this is just an excerpt of the huge repertoire of dirty talk our inner voice is responsible for.

Now what about dissecting the holy cow and look what is inside?

Whose voice is it actually? Is it really mine? Or is it nothing but an old record of what mam and dad repeatedly told me, when I was nasty? Is it mine or any other person‘s? And should I really trust a voice I do not know whose it is? Am I a masochist listening the whole time to someone telling me I am no good, unworthy, thumb, blind, foolish, ugly ... You think this is MY voice? Then I am a fool indeed - STOP!

Here we have one of the dirty little tricks our inner voice uses to use. The fact that it tells us proves it is right. So I am a fool, since who else than a fool tells himself repeatedly he is a fool? You must be a fool, if you think you are one. Quod errat demonstrandum.

Nurse, scalpell! We have to cut this out! What an insiduous tricky little fellow have we got here! Quick, let us put him in quarantine, he may be infectious. This is one of the main mean mechanisms of our inner voice: bite, stick and repeat (could be the title of a rock song). Since it is repetition of the humiliation that makes it irresistable.

Ever lost a cup by letting it fall down? Well, you could sweep the pieces and go back to what you did before. So what? Or you could listen to this tiny inner voice catching up with inner wisdom like „you got two left hands, unable to keep just a cup, you clumsy oaf, didn‘t I tell you before, you cannot do anything right...“ and so on. Won‘t stop before the next accident takes place.

Usually the inner voice does not even need a trigger. It loves to chatterbabbleprattle and it certainly does not need any reason. In the best case it just talk about nothing worth being mentioned - but there is a worst case, too, and if this scenario takes place in one‘s head, be aware. Then the inner voice attacks and humiliates. And how difficult it is to stop internally talking everybody knows who ever tried to meditate.

There is nothing in the outer world that the inner voice does not have anything to comment upon or complain or whatsoever. The inner voice steps between us and the reality. We do not react to what happens around us, we do react to what the inner voice says about what happens around us.

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